I’m sitting in a coffee bar, knocking back strong caffeine and trying not to scratch my swollen and slightly blistered eyelids. I’d mulled over writing this blog about my time journeying in China but I thought fuck it…hopefully I’ll never be talking about hepatitis once this course is done so I may as well spill out my end of treatment angst (and itching) one more time.
I mean hey, life without using #hepc, I’ll need to find something to fill the gap.
Amazing how easy it is to attach yourself to an appellation and live around that for years without realising it.Now I have had my revelation and my time flogging this diseased horse is near an end I need to either choose to settle into soft stomached middle age, or rapidly find some new windmills to tilt my lance towards.
So I’m drinking coffee in a technicolour Lebanese Restarant and writing in time to frenetic music whilst trying to evade guilt that I’ve spent a portion of next January’s travelling money on a minor (for some) or major (for me)spending binge.
I will not hopefully, be a disease carrier in two weeks so I deserve new winter clothes (well TK MAxx) rather than my usual charity/eBay finds.
I have this niggling suspicion that I have lived my life as if I may drop dead any minute, which hasn’t been a bad attitude in many ways, albeit a slightly short sighted one. Whilst I was living in a drug fuelled tunnel, it was a sensible approach, but post drug use this bloody (no pun intended) virus created an excuse to validate the long term adaptation of the ‘live today…’ philosophy.
I suppose I could construct a plan regarding my new life approach (scratching my increasingly reddening weeping eyes under my nighttime sunglasses) but for now I’ll settle for knowing I need a new plan and trying to sort out this bloody itching.
Above Image of Charlotte Rodgers at the opening of ‘Rust, Blood and Bone’ photographed by Gerard Hutton
Charlotte Rodgers 
Once again, your courage and honesty bring my unreserved admiration. I know that in your position, courage would fail me and I and others would suffer unnecessarily, due to internalising that which has to be spoken about. Perhaps your next blog could reveal if the people who love(d) you have found the courage to stay supportive, and how they have done this.
At least you will look cool in sunglasses. A regular chic rock chick or rapper! Hives? Ouch. Doesn’t sound the least bit cool.
What a splendid idea-good for me also to explore those around me rather than just my own processes which can tend to be a tad…repetitive! Thanks also for the support.