A Very Modern Kind of Love

IMG_9686Sometimes I scan the titles of my blog posts and muse on what an overtly serious and miserable being I must appear to be.
However as it’s now winter, I have an excuse to mull on so called darker aspects of life, despite the steadily growing presence of forced Christmas cheer and associative bling.
I’ve had several years now of losing people that were close to me, and/or important in my life. Most of these people were also face book connections and I was recently scanning my list of face book friends and found that many of them are no longer alive.
I’ve also occasionally tracked down on old friend on face book and it wasn’t until reading back through many posts on their wall, I’ve realised that they had died some time ago.
These cyber memorials are strange entities, but I feel loath to delete them. I still occasionally put a post up on my mother’s page for instance, and feel as if I am connecting in some deep way with her.
Perhaps this has become a modern ritual. A contemporary elaboration of the roadside memorials and decorated graves of the past, but even older and more pagan, linked to the atavistic concepts of feeding the dead. All the traffic, electricity and movement on face book, providing more attention and focus than the simple laying of flowers on a family shrine.
Looking up face book practice regarding deceased members it seems it is possible to either close the page down or make a memorial of it. However password access is necessary and from the comments of people who have tried to close a profile down, it isn’t an easy thing to do.
This leaves me with mixed feelings. On one hand face book almost assumes a religious status by holding power over our dead, on the other it has become a very modern way of visiting those we cared deeply for by paying our respects, without the effort that the visit to a graveyard would entail.
So I’ll leave these redundant pages active, and visit occasionally, always aware that love never dies, it simply changes shape.

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About charlottejane2002

Author of 'P is for Prostitution', 'The Bloody Sacrifice' and co-editor of 'A Contemporary Western Book of the Dead' which are all published by Mandrake of Oxford. Italian publisher Roberto Migliussi has recently released 'The Sky is a Gateway, Not a Ceiling', a book of Charlotte's collected essays printed alongside images of his own art work. Charlotte is also an artist who creates spiritually directed art works from road kill and found objects. She has had her written work printed in anthologies and various magazines and on line publications and has given presentations at many events and institutions including Edinburgh University and Brooklyn's 'Museum of Morbid Anatomy'. Her art work has been exhibited widely including at London's Chelsea Gallery and The Bath Royal Literary and Scientific Institute, and is soon to be shown in New York.
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