Alice: The Fall, The Paparazzi, and The Transluscent Rabbit Hole.

IMG_1564Several years ago I compared participation in an art exhibition to a shamanic, initiatory descent.
Well I’m presently free-falling in a very non spiritual way and with only two weeks until my exhibition, I’m tettering over various precipices of anxiety, madness, confusion and frustration.
To create that extra frisson, as I’m wont to do when pushing the envelope of my own sanity, rather than a simple exhibition I’ve gone for a multi-artist, multi-media event. So I’m not only trying to hold together my own crumbling remnants but I’m also trying to organise a group of similarly inclined creatives.
I was talking to someone recently about writing a book and they were surprised when I said that if the writing of a book takes 3 months; the rewriting, editing and working with your publisher to get the book ready for publication, takes at least another 9 months.
Art is a similar process.The creative act occupies a pitifully small amount of time compared to the stress inducing dealing with social media, self- promotion, presentation and business organisation…all of which encroach horribly and occasionally painfully on the joyous making time when you are alone with your muses and various ingredients.
Working with other artists is an inspirational joy also tempered by those damn logistical technicalities.
The more I’ve allowed my art to dominate my life, the happier I am but also the more I get in touch with my inner space cadet, so to speak.
All of this runs in often direct opposition to my programme of recovery which is very much about order, structure, balance, measured behaviour and safety.
However for me true recovery meant connecting with the person that I am meant to be, the person that was lost for 19 years whilst I frenetically danced with my demons.
I had an exhibition in London several years ago, and I was flapping around (being around a lot of people makes me skitty) when I realised that this was who I was meant to be. Not the aforementioned crazed and anxious reactive behaviour, but rather the artist who creatively explores any and all strange spaces and as part of this, takes the risk of presenting her work to the public.
When a point of such tension is created, there is also created a gateway to what can potentially be huge transformation and change.
So in three weeks the long descent will be over. I’ll probably be in an exceptionally odd state for a while afterwards, but eventually I’ll emerge in a new aspect, slightly battered no doubt but invariably changed.

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About charlottejane2002

Author of 'P is for Prostitution', 'The Bloody Sacrifice' and co-editor of 'A Contemporary Western Book of the Dead' which are all published by Mandrake of Oxford. Italian publisher Roberto Migliussi has recently released 'The Sky is a Gateway, Not a Ceiling', a book of Charlotte's collected essays printed alongside images of his own art work. Charlotte is also an artist who creates spiritually directed art works from road kill and found objects. She has had her written work printed in anthologies and various magazines and on line publications and has given presentations at many events and institutions including Edinburgh University and Brooklyn's 'Museum of Morbid Anatomy'. Her art work has been exhibited widely including at London's Chelsea Gallery and The Bath Royal Literary and Scientific Institute, and is soon to be shown in New York.
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5 Responses to Alice: The Fall, The Paparazzi, and The Transluscent Rabbit Hole.

  1. Jiddu Krishnamurti said that the truth is a pathless land. I think the same can be said for self-enquiry, self-realisation. For you to acheive this goal via one of the many paths, in your case your art, will see many changes. Ultimately the end result will be worth the batterings.x

  2. To all the strange spaces! It’s going to be brilliant.

  3. Nothing like a strange space to play in! Thanks for the best wishes xxx

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